It has been three months.
Three really long months. Three months of thinking about her every minute, every hour. Three months of wishing she were here to call, to laugh with, to run errands with, to see her babies.
I miss her so much.
I think about these last two years and how fast it all happened. At the time, it seemed like time dragged on. Appointment after appointment, hospital stay after hospital stay. She suffered for so long, and she was so tired. She fought so hard. She promised she would. She was amazing.
God had bigger plans for her though. Plans I may not understand right now, but it isn't for me to understand or not. His plans are greater. She is at peace. Finally not in any pain. How could I ask for more for her?
I still miss her though. I still wish she were here with me today.
I go through my day thinking how much she left here with me. A thought in my mind, an action carried out, a rainy day and the smell that we are left with afterward. Enjoying each day to the fullest, hugging my kids, playing silly games that she made up with them. When it thunders really hard, my kids think Grandma is bowling with Jesus. I love thunder.
I miss her.
I am trying to have a new outlook on life. Each day is new, and the only one we have. My God is big and mighty and there isn't anything he can't do. He grants me peace beyond understanding and I am very thankful for that. I certainly couldn't have it on my own.
She was an amazing woman, and she gave it all she had. So now, I give it all I have. It is really hard to do sometimes, but I keep trying. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other. Loving my life and the memories of my amazing mother I hold so dear.
